


My Red Portal

by lavacherries



Category: RWBY
Genre: Drug Use, F/F, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Masturbation, Parody Fic, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, my immortal parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-01-04 22:56:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 5,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18353438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavacherries/pseuds/lavacherries
Summary: This is a My Immortal parody fic. Meaning, I'm taking My Immortal and only tweaking the names and some of the plot/scenes. I promise that this fic is a joke that spiraled out of control and will become the bane of my existence. Please remember that I'm also hating this and that I'm only putting these tags on to warn anyone who stumbles across this garbage fire of a fic.Any author's notes that aren't actually in AO3's given note sections aren't from me, they're Raven's.Again. The gross tags are only a warning. I'd never write like this for actual fic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> kill me

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my bro qrow, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Summer ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Raven Branwen and I have long raven black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and bright red eyes like fresh blood and a lot of people tell me I look like Arryn Zech (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Miles Luna but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in Vale where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, red fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Raven!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Summer Rose!

"What's up Summer?" I asked.

"Nothing." she said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't ask me questions about the setting
> 
> I'm barely functioning as it is

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was dark red velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My twin brother, Crow (AN: Qrow dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. He flipped his short black hair with silver streaks and opened his light red eyes. He put on his Marilyn Manson t-shirt with black leather pants, pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Summer Rose yesterday!" he said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Summer?" he asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" he exclaimed. Just then, Summer walked up to me.

"Hi." she said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." she said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." she told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" she asked.

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _moshing violently_ what's wrong honey?

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN QROW! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Summer was waiting there in front of her flying car. She was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner.

"Hi Summer!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Raven." she said back. We walked into her flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Summer, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Summer looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Summer sensitively and she put her arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Summer. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Summer and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Summer didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead she drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave your death threats in the comments below

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok raven's name is REVAN nut mary su OK! SUMMER IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat she is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"SUMMER!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Summer didn't answer but she stopped the flying car and she walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Raven?" she asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Summer leaned in extra-close and I looked into her gothic silver eyes which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I Summer kissed me passionately. Summer climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. She took of my top and I took of her clothes. I even took of my bra. Then she put her strap thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….Ozpin!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you do the fandango

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Oznpnin swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

Ozpin made and Summer and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Summer comforted me. When we went back to the castle Ozpin took us to Professor Light God and Professor Salem who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor Salem.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Light God.

And then Summer shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Ozpin and Professor Salem still looked mad but Professor Light God said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Summer and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Raven?" Summer asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Summer was standing in front of the bathroom, and she started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though she wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and she reluctantly went back into her room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why are you still reading this

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with red.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the tan face of a gothic boy with spiky blond hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He was wearing red contact lenses and there was a tattoo on his shoulder now. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy voice. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Taiyang Xiao Long, although most people call me Dragon these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of burnt human flesh." he giggled.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Summer came up behind me and told me she had a surprise for me so I went away with her.


	7. Bring me 2 life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this reaches 69 subs I'll start including art in the chapters

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Ruven isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

Summer and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Dragon. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Summer. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Summer. We went into her room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. She felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and she took off her pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then she put her big strap thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

"Oh Summer, Summer!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Summer's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Dragon!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Summer pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Summer ran out even though she was naked. She had a really big strap-on but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Dragon's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Light God and some other people.

"DRAGON XIAO LONG, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing better to do

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do de prep!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Summer came into the room even though she was naked and started begging me to take her back.

"Raven, it's not what you think!" Summer screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Badwitch smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length platinum blond hair and opened her crimson-red eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Glynda was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Dark God killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Badwitch and not Goodwitch. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Light God demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Dragon, I can't believe you cheated on me with Summer!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Raven was so mad at me. I had went out with Dragon (I'm bi and so is Raven for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Jacques, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Summer anymore!" said Dragon.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Summer and then I started to bust into tears.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you ever question your own existence

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if onzpzninz swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson lit good dosent lik taiyang now is coz hes christian and dragon is a satanist! MCR ROX!

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Summer for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Summer.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with no eyes and purple skin and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have eyes (basically like the dark god in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… the Dark God!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Dark God shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Dark God fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

"Raven." he yelled. "Thou must kill Dragon Xiao Long!"

I thought about Dragon and his sexah eyes and his blond hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Summer had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Summer went out with Dragon before I went out with her and they broke up?

"No, Dark God!" I shouted back.

The Dark God gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Summer!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Dark God got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Dragon, then thou know what will happen to Summer!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Summer came into the woods.

"Summer!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." she said back but her face was all sad. She was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Barbara Dunkelman and Lindsay Jones.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." she answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." she said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I'm gonna fucking kermit_

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u fucking hetties if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n dragon r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

I was really scared about Dark Gdo all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Dragon, Summer, Ironwood (although we call him Diabolo now. He has blue streaks in his hair now.) and Lionheart. Only today Summer and Dragon were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Summer was probably slitting her wrists (she wouldn't die because she was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak) and Dragon was probably watching a depressing movie like The Fall of Beacon. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

“Raven! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Dark God came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Tai! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Summer. But if I don't kill Tai, then Dark God, will fucking kill Summer!" I burst into tears.  
Suddenly Summer jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" she shouted.

I started to cry and cry. Summer started to cry too all sensitive. Then she ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Ozpni walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Raven Summer has been found in her room. She committed suicide by slitting her wrists."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes I've got to _**slap slap**_ run away

Chapter 11. 

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma bro qrow 4 hleping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Ozpin chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with red metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Lit God was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Jackues was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Dragon ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Light God and Jackues pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Light God and Jackues a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Ozpyn ran in. "Raven, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Light God and Jackues and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Linonheart ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Linonhaeart paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

"This cannot be." Lit God said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Ozpyn's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Jackues held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

"Why are you doing this?" Jackues said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Lionhaert said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're goffic?" Lit God asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ain't it chief

AN: stop f,aing ok linonheart is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in vale skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no lit god iant kristian plus linonheart isn't really in luv wif raven dat was ghira ok!

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Summir had given me in case anything happened to her. She had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS LIANONheart but it was Dragon. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Summer….Darf God has her bondage!"

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Lit God and Jackues and LIOHHEART were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Ozpin had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Linonheart came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Revan I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Linonheart had been mean to me before for being gottik.

"No Revan." Linonheart says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Lit God and Jackues." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"OK I believe you now wtf is Suwwer?"

Lianonheart rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Revaan," Ozpyn said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Linonheart yelled. oZPyn lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Linonheart stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof ozpiin!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Lit God and Jackues couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Dragon was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Summer had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Summer. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Tai had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Summers. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor Samelem who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Dragon you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Summer!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Summer….Darf God has her bondage!"

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 QROW MY GOFFIX BLOOD BRUTHA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY QROW DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> where did i go wrong  
> lost in the sauce

Chapter 13. 

AN: qrow fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of ironwood but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

Dragon and I ran up the stairs looking for Ozpin. We were so scared.

"Ozpin Ozpyn!" we both yelled. Ozpin came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

"Dars God has Summer!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

"No! Don't! We need to save Summer!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Dark God does to Summer. Not after how much she misbehaved in school especially with YOU Raven." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Dragon started crying. "My Summer!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik bi guyz r lik so hot!)

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Dark Gpd's lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!"  
It was….. Dark God!


End file.
